Today, officially, 4 of my modules has ended

- Speech Trainning
- Field Practicum
- Written Communication
- Sports and Wellness

i'm suppose to leap with joy, gleam with satisfaction, and roll with relaxation but while i do that, that tingy feeling always grumble and pull at my heartstrings.. it doesn't feel like its the proper way to end... its like every other day lesson, 15 weeks seem too easy to end it, it seem that there isn't anything beneathe all those days..

I miss the children in my childcare, knowing that i won't be seeing them perhaps never again or at best 2 months later...will they remember me? or will i have to restart and reach out to them once again even when i knew them so well.. its like having your closest ones having memory lost, you know them yet you can not know them...

I miss the little jokes in STB, ms chong's cheerily chirping up n down, with her so well controlled expressions and vocals to improvise...the friendliness of the class, the small little joys we have...the chance to express through small little innounciation..

I miss the days where ms fiona smile at my groggy face, dozing off at her lesson, yet she just smiles and just ask me if i understood..and also her smiley face when we leave and enter the classroom, early or late..

I miss the days where we all play soccer and complain about the warm ups, with our victory cheers and chattery behaviour when simply goofing around, doing the stupidiest thing..

i suppose not only us but lecturers have it hard, they can't get too attached to us regardlessly, they have to live through each class each semester, one by one, getting to know everyone and then letting everyone go with only vague memory rusted with time..


within 2 and a half more years, T02 will break up, it will disperse, yes we might say we'll keep in touch but honestly for how long, yes some might be still around but it wouldn't be the same, we know yet we lie, we experience it.. i remember the sour taste when i was 12 going 13, i was elated for a day about the long break, but.. honestly up till now, no one from my primary school stayed.. i remember the angst i felt about 10months ago, where we all walked our seperate path, promising to keep it together, but no more than 3 days, a clear distinct lie was presented.. a enormous chain of class unity has broke and fell into small tiny circles that is so disfigured and no longer the same...at least those we have stayed, stayed..but we can feel the difference couldn't we. can't we?
and quickly the page will turn with the a sand through the eye, with a rub and everything will change, tears will slowly roll and the lonliness will fade in again..and nothing i do is going to change it..


I don't know why i wrote all these.. i just felt this sudden crashing weight, this burden, from my uplifting mood with shengyao at seoul garden and walking around ION, with the happiness of finally buying the book KoKology i've been eyeing, but it somehow all crumbled underneath me... i feel a misfortune, a misharp, an intensity gloomingly hovering towards me, something i would unravel... i've got a hunch of what is it, i just don't want to assume yet....the 4th person is coming, is he?



Would You Remember?
Would You remember?
Would you remember?
would you remember?
no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no, i know..its a no

Watched Hairy Potty on friday.. have to disagree with the crowd, i was quite fascinated by the whole experience, it links up really nice i think and the effects all these are great, i suppose it depends on how u view it and if u have read the book or not. 3.5/5

Sat, Capoeira with Carol n May... now I CAN HEADSTAND ON MY BED ONLY =D!! ( my head has balukus..)

couldn't remember what i wanted to write anymore..

Today was an okay day

went for attachment, the kids actually praised me handsome =D ( i know, its only kids perception )
then went to lunch at Borsch Steakhouse with Sibani n Wenlei

had my sirloin steak,

went home

slept 30mins

woke up somehow

went Prawning with joel,trevor,shengyao,richard,anthony

total of 25 prawns or more prawns were hurt during the making
25 of them which was definitely murdered as they are swimming in our stomach aft being salted and bbq..

went mac for proper dinner

and homed..


with loads of assignment swarming at me, and yet hadn't lift a finger on them yet...
yet everyone else is so hardworking..

i'm pretty much screwed

It all seemed so easy when it was me
it seemed simple enough for me to be
be the coward that ends what he starts
sucking in all those other's criticizing darts

the vision so unsteady
unlike the past, where it seemed so straight
illusioned i seemed so unready
as if i had myself toyed with fate

confused with doubts in my mind
yelling at the heart so sickly illed
with a question that wants me to find
my own ending to selfishly sealed

that single mistake that caused all these
wavered my strongest will
since it was i who made it still
giving me reason for me to cease

my mind so cloudy and blurred
i cannot think and i cannot see
which decision should set me free
to hang on or just to leave it slurred

i knew the answer, i really do
but why does it seemed so hard to return
i'm messed up though seemingly cool
with that mistake that slowly burn

somehow i'll standby here
and watch us live
two entity on their fear
one so mad and one so diff
and watch the folded unfold

Stopped In The Tracks..
Stopped In The Tracks..
Stopped In The Tracks..
Stopped In The Tracks..
Stopped In The Tracks..

Right Ankle's a Bummer...

let me just summarize my modules for awhile

Monday - Child Development LECTURE - 1hr 40mins of copying copying and half sleeping with half joking period

Tuesday - Attatchment to Treasure Box - 3 hrs of cuteness, observations and smiles accompanied with 2 wonderful person that made it greater (teacher wenleh and teacher barney)

Wednesday - Field Practicum Consultation - 1hr of Slacking.... Speech Trainning - 2hrs of fun and laughter as well as vocal invokation.... Sports and Wellness - 2 hrs of Trying to win matches with Fantastic Street Soccer

Thursday - Written Communication - Boredom lesson but inevitable..... IT - Own World while trying to catch what the teacher is saying and then do as seen..

Friday - Child Development Tutorial - Half Boredom Lesson with half Team work fun.. IT - Same thing.... Principal and Practical Of Classroom Management - Fun Yet Boring At Times


Very Brief..

I did it so wrongly
I screwed up so badly
Shouldn't act like i knew it all
like i'm doing it all

Darn It...now i don't know how to speak