always in the sidelines...while the rest gets the spotlight.. they go and come back with those momentary frowns telling us how hard is it out there, then they go back where they came from.. No I've tried so hard to stay here, warming the bench. You who don't try as hard frays away, narcissism takes over.


i don't know what of you that made me stare
i don't know what of you that made me flutter
i don't know what of you that made me want to be the best
i don't know what of you that made me want to be your best
i don't know what of you that made me ache
i don't know what of you that made me long
i don't know what but it took me over and converted me
but you could say the same thing to the other him

i might not be the best offer
i might not be your good offer
but i hope i'm still an offer to you

You might never know this because i'm too afraid
i'm fearful that you would just disappear
its really a good thing that i'm good at holding back

its the "i like you but i can't like you" story once again
goodbye loser, hello loserX2

Perhaps i shouldn't from the start
Perhaps it was a mistake to begin
Perhaps i had taken my own life
Perhaps it never had been mine
Perhaps i tried to run away
Perhaps it never supposed to be here
Perhaps i should have thought
Perhaps it never needed any
Perhaps i flawed and failed
Perhaps it was meant to be
Perhaps i never needed to choose
Perhaps it knew me all along
Perhaps i hadn't had to fight
Perhaps it couldn't be mine anyway
Perhaps i should just die off
Perhaps i shouldn't care
Perhaps i should let go
Perhaps i should leave

just go curl up somewhere kenny, you're not the hero in any fairytale. Theres no space for your rationality, no place for your indecisiveness, no area for your cautiousness, no way for your cowardice.

2 Movies are up today, one with Pam and her sis and the second one with mum and bro..

Princess and the frog~

well its kind of a typical disney kind of show, luxuary magic, sweet melting happy endings, and destroyed obnoxious villians.Thus predictable... I guess a fairytale isn't too bad once awhile.. Welll its pretty watchable i guess 2.8/5?

Planet 51,

No doubt a cartoonish show, comedy and such, quite funny at times i would say, but its also quite predictable and kinda luck filled like every cartoon... not a bad movie either.. watchable too maybe 2.8/5?
--------------------------------------------------------------------

I realized, i'm becoming more and more unwilling to talk...more and more unwilling to share...more and more unwilling to explain...more and more willing to close up..

All the lovey dovey..

that my eyes had learnt to shun

my hearts literally in two pieces

fighting each side to reach a decision

Each with their own logic to stand

Theres always the 2 decisions to choose

2 risks to take, 2 chances to advance

I really don't know.. I'm a screw up

I was thinking of getting the pictures before i actually post something that i've done, but it appears that i've gradually drop the pieces of information, theres a hole in my brain maybe, leaking out memories like a filled bottle with holes.

Okay, so i've found a really great museum, its called "8Q SAM".. i'm reluctant to share this but seeing that my blog doesn't have much reader i think the secludeness of the museum can be protected... its a place of beautiful instillation art, really abstract and really pretty.. the uniqueness of this place is really quite over the top... nopes its not really just pretty paintings, props and set ups and much more stuff.. you'll be amazed..

Narnia~~

Paper Walkway

The black and white room

Watched New Moon with ShengYao,Joel,Yanhua.. the other day, it felt really uncomfortable as i felt that new moon was kinda a girl movie, yet 4 grown guys went in... not being sexist here but just weird.. anyway the movie was kinda a bore, well but didn't really expect anything outta it... I didn't had the guts to yell "Cedric!!" and "Sharkboy!!" afterall..

I'm becoming much more of a jerk i want to be

i feel like i'm leaving you, not like i have commitments

but the problem is, it didn't fade off

i feel it fluttering, so as though stolen.. I don't know what i want anymore..

Finally the hellish period struck over, surviving on stress along with lack of sleep in a foot race to accompish every assignment just chucked to us mercilessly..
It hadn't fully ended but at least the hell period is gone for now...

Cut my hair thin and shorter.. and i'm really still tired from all those fatigues and i believe i'm getting sick..

See ya Shai, thanks alot

i've been seriously busy
extremely exhuasted
really faigue-cal
the assignments just came rushing out of no where, each stacked on each other, just collected themselves and burried me underneathe with a tilt of hope glistning every now and then.

i've been really tired
survived on about 4hours per day for the past week, i go to school everyday with a zombie like self,dragging the feet with eyes wanting to close so badly yet they couldn't lullaby me to sleep... i hadn't been doing leisure things for a long time now, i'm finding everything i used to have is breaking out, just drifting away..

People has been pushing up their ideal thoughts and views upon me, mainly family, you might think i'm not being sociable, yes i don't deny it but sometimes do you look and ask in an alternative way than you always do? you demand and you request then you push your opinions on me, why hadn't you see yet.. so far i have a reason for everything, you asked me not to promise what i couldn't acheieve but when i don't want to promise, you blame that i don't have the sincerity... the reason why i stay up?? beside the atmosphere of inner peace to really remember myself and not get sucked into your world of opinions, the only way to keep myself, face it already i have my own reason that i don't speak of...
and i don't speak of its because i don't want to, how would you know if i don't speak? sometimes you don't have to, sometimes its just enough to understand i have my reason..

i sometimes like to close my eyes and imagine the calm scenery of a green short grass wavering admist the cool winds, along with the rustling of the lone tree standing tall at the side of this field all covered by a peaceful stretch of baby blue sky with cluttering of white clouds and then i shall walk towards the tree and lie in its shade, just close my eyes again and imagine that nothing was real anymore, i don't have to open my eyes again..

If you hadn't realize yet
than maybe i'm just too different for you

Chocolate Cupcakes with cheesy frostings today...

----------------

Sometimes i wonder if you ever noticed my over obvious hints
or maybe you just choose not to see it, choose to ignore, choose not to answer
so much to the extend that i could write my biography with the questions you don't reply..

How far you'll go is how far i'll follow