These days i can't help but ponder over my life in secondary, its becoming to seemed that i've lost playmates that could stoop to a childish level together with me, and just spend the days fooling it away.. doing nothing, and just have all the fun we could ever have... it suddenly feel as though its so unreal, so quick, so out of the box, so shortlived, so unnatural, so gone...

everyone seemed to just "Poof" and gone missing.. i hadn't try frantically and berserkly to get hold of them like i would have in the past, because theres this horrid instinct that somewhat jabs me hard in the heart and said, They Aren't Here Anymore.

isn't that true, we have little or no contact eversince we moved on into poly life, its like no longer having playmates to get along childishly with you, you're different, different without them.. untrue to your wanting, you begin to waver as you watch their shadow disappear.. then remorse and despondency towers over you.. demanding an answer amidst of everything... and then you realize, your answers had already left.

Yes I do love my life now, i got a great schooling experience, met great new friends... I get so busy, though i do not know what i'm busy about as i have nothing to be that busy about, yet this helps since, i could have as much breather as i need.. and at the same time, i could numb myself, blocking out worries that i had, i feel light.. i feel touches of happiness. I feel i do not have to fake anything in the future, i'm free from tormentation of depression..

But My Dear Friends.. I wouldn't dare forget you even when i have my wings to fly.. you're ever that important to me, so don't just leave me to my abandoncy.. we're still friends, right??

Was having a conversation with ZhiXiong ( my 1st NP friend ) yesterday, and somehow i turned out hilarious if you get the meaning.. ( its alittle draggy )

=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
direct translation
BEAR BEAR
lol
zhi = mole
mole bear
lmao
ur englishname
mole bear
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
wtf
lol.
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
freak sia u
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
MY EL NAME IS SPRITE OKAY
haha
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
mole bear la
new breed
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
YOU CALL YOURSELF
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
my one is cut ur leg
kenny lek
kan ni jiao
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
LOL.
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
so cool
not like some animal
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
.........................
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
mole bear
lol
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
?!
WIN
DRAMA ONE WIN
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
shhh mole bear
lol
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
DRAMA ONE WIN
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
mole bear power sia
can dig and fish sia
means u jian bu de guang one
lol
always underground or underwater
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
its so lame im laughing
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
lol.
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
mole bear
lmao
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
dam
I DNO WHAT TO REBUT
TMD
AIYA
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
don't need to
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
DOG LAH YOU
DOG LAH
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
DOG
LOL.
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
i dog
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
DOG
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
u mole bear
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
DOG SHIT
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
shuddup mole bear
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
SHIT DOG
LOL.
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
mole bear shit is shit where one
land or water
lol
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
wtf?!
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
or u shit in ur own mouth then can recycle
lmao
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
SHUTDPG
GO HUMP THE TREE
GOGO
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
mole bear maybe hump tree also
lol
no la
i think hump the underground rocks
lol
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
you HUMP THE SHIT
LOL;.
SHIT DOG
LOL.
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
u eat shit to shit out shit then u eat the shit thats ur shit then u shit out the shit that was just now the shit but u ate the shit so its a shit shit
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
i dont even bother to read
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
i only see shit
lol.
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
okok
i shall rephrase
u eat crap to crap out crap then u crap the crap thats ur crap before then u crap out the crap that was just now the crap but since u ate the crap so its a crap crap
better?
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
WTH
NAGGY LIKE LAO AH MA
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lmao
teo = trio
trio mole bear
ur full name
diglet sia u
dugtrio
poke mon
lmao
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
wth.
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
then cross bred with polar bear
lmao
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
EH YOU WIN LIAO LAH
I DNO WHAT TO SAY LIAO LAH
ENOUGH ENOUGH
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
trio mole bear
lmoa
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
I LOSE
WIN
WIN
OK
WIN
LOL.
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol best nickname sia
sprite is like so shitty now
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
NAME IS THAT?!
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
LOL.
YOU SHOULD HOOK YOURSELF UO WITH SUCH A NAME
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
i very cool liaos
chop ur leg
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
KENNY BBQ CHICKEN MOTHER LEK
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lmao
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
LOL.
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
trio mole bear much nicer
dugtrio have cross bred with snorlax
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
KENNY BBQ CHICKEN MOTHER LEK

CROSS BREAD OF
TORCHIC
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
go fish and then dig la u
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
TORCHIC MOTHER
AND BBQ TORCHIC
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
fail sia u
lousy name
lmao
nah
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
CHILDISH SIA
SIA
SIA
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
u small that time
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
SIA
HAHA I SMALL THAT TIME
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
ur mother forgot to press the B button
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
VERY MATURED LIAO OK
HAHA
B?
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
then u evolve
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
.....
WIN
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
become trio mole bear
lmao
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
WIN
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
DRAMA ONE JIU SHI DRAMA
TALK COCK ALSO SO PRO
LOL.
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lmao
mole bear not bad also
bowling too much time issit
lol
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
?
bowling
oo
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
too much time then anyhow talk crap
lol
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
lol.
CHANGE TOPIC
TMD
TIO PWNED
CHANGE
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
nahs
mole bear not bad
lol
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
TODAY AH
THE WEATHER
....
HOT AH
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
mole bear cannot play volley ball siol
dig into ground how to play
ZHIXIONG; 张智雄 says:
ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
!!!!!!!!!
!
LOL.
CAN LOR, I POP OUT AND ATTACK
=) Kenny (= Your Withdrawl says:
lol
not bad ah
then u can dig to their side
make them fall down
lol

Passé

A frame hold rigid
the edges a perfect fit
a picture complete
yet the empty feat

A memory etched
mesmerized we stare
but for how long
before we drop and snare

A recollection of then
surged within your hands
a brush across
something old and new

A forgotten passé
irreversable and went
with past all gone and sent
tears to those unmemberance
with a picture to hold
an unfamilar picture

----------------------

Numbed
through the countless of leaving
as you flutter away
through your forever sways
Stumped
as i feel hurt weaving
yet its like anestisia
hurtless yet suffocating
Triumph
over me, i see them rising
regardless my struggles
it'll end with troubles
Crumbs
after all my breaking
its only bits and pieces left
and a heavy heart to heft
Drown
through the absorbed sorrowing
fervor with misery
and end with treachery

Woke up today with a splitting headache, its on the left side only.. had alittle devil popped up beside my head, and whisper, nahs you don't have to go today, just get some rest, you'll need it =D..

yet regardlessly i woke up and got out at the same 7am, yet when i went on the bus, i regreted so much about it, it felt like a bomb of puke was going to explode anytime, was seriously unwell..

yet it slowly subsides but not completely, after i arrived at class, and the minutes drags on..figured out i had many mental block.. but as usual, had fun and had time surfing the net and chatting during IT, and the whole class went for break together, quite amazed to be truthful..

and school ended at 4pm today, and went back with Pamela, had a dinner of Fish(sticks) and Chips.. then went home, popped a pill and collapsed, waking up to find the effect of my allergy to paracetmol( technically panadol ) had spreaded to the width of Panadols( my constant medication ), thus puffy eyes now..

Today was pretty much a Superbly boring - Classes, yet Fruitful - Got to know even more people..

the 1st 2 hours were spent on Written Communication( like english period in Sec )

and the later 2 was on some IT that no one paid attention on, everyone was on MSN and Facebook Etc.. while i webcammed and chatted on MSN...

then we were finally released, may i stress FINALLY.. Like Heather(my new friend) quoted, " 2 hours is like 200 years! "

Cutting short the story, Me with 7 other ladies( Heather, Pamela, Shareena, Pebbles, Sarah, PeiQi and JingYi ) went for lunch.. and that probably concludes my day...

Today was the 1st time i met my class without " outsiders ". Great people..

Had 2 Shock Shock News today..
1. Had To Study Some History
2. Had To Study Some POA


Craaapppp..

but other than that, i love poly life, kinda.. its great being inside, walking around, feels like an adult, though you get pretty sweaty and lost, its a real nice feeling.. furthermore classes are interesting with extra-un-ordinary lecturers in a good way...


Anyway, FYI, my class T02 of ECH has only 2 guys(including me)
yet i'm being deemed as a girl by the rest( no idea why ), hilarious.. I must do something soon, hahaha..

So early in the morning, went to take the Shuttle Bus provided to NP...a supposingly napping trip but since my seat was spoilt thus i had nothing to lean on.. then whats worse is numerous traffic jams along the way..

Anyway, since today's lesson had no location specified other than TBA, so after lots of detoured, i figured out there is no lesson for today...

so i am now looking at my watch and waiting for SY... sipping my 100+ and nibbling on my bread..

long long wait

so let me wish a Belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY to MAY TZE...
...

School is reopening...
Cheesecake is appearing...
Nervousness is cracking...

theres about only 3 guys in the class of 25( including me ) i guess...

Cross my fingers and hope i'll be able to socialize

To NP today!!

for some kind of induction programme,

so i got pretty much lost during my scouting around..( NO THANKS TO LIMIN!! ) Thank you Zoe =D, lol

okay anway
was pretty lost there, and feel even more out of place in the lecture hall...

most people attended the Orientation Camp thus, forming Cliques already...

so after motivation speeches, one after which,( none of serious purpose)

we were let off to lunch. yet didn't decide to have any, thus sitting on the steps, fishing out my PSP and started playing...

In the Midst of playing, suddenly 1 guy tapped my shoulder and enquired me if i wanted some food, then from there we started to know each other, My 1st NP made friend - Teo Wei Zhiong.
he was in "PCEE- Psychology and Childhood Early Education" while i was "ECH- Early ChildHood (education)"

well there wasn't alot of guys around in our courses, all we saw was 4 guys including us..
That probably concludes the day in NP...


Failed...to wake up early..to make cookies.. Failure

A Step so difficult
a speech undelivered
a motion so in fault
a direction severed

Astonishly stunned
monotoniously broke
anxiety dominates
and truth terminates

Bewildered state
blasphemy fate
regrets on staged
and a moment to hate

Cowardly stung
when uselessness prevails
a fool's trail
to a tune so unsung

a past so uncalled
an empty sensation
the truth so falled
to the darkest treason
The Silent Region

okay let me backtrack the dates

2nd april, went to watch Knowing at the movie premire at 7pm at shaw house with Izzuddin after being rejected, seeing the word Premiere, i kinda thought it was a slightly formal occasion thus wrapping my tie up and putting on a blazer seemed to be alright, yet the 1st person i saw when i entered the cinema was an uncle wearing a shirt and a shorts...flabbergasted, well at least the movie was good, better if it wasn't included with alien stuff i feel, probably 3.5/5 with the aliens? 4 without them? haha


okay then 2 days back

7th april,went out of the same "gang" Sy,Joel,Yh,Ant.. supposingly to eat Sakae buffet Yet AGAIN, thus met at 12pm hoping to catch the lunch one, yet when we reached Marina Square, we figured out that they only server 3-6pm buffet... so we had approx. 2hours at that time, thus we in a rush caught "Shinjiku Incident" even after much of my protest myself... but it suprised me by being good actually... quite a good show, a little violence, ok maybe a little more violence here and there.. but its great, has its moment, so 4/5 actually?? haha..

Thats probably it for now

I can't find a reason
no chance of treason
I can't look away
slowly through the passing days

Nothing ever happened
then why is there depressions?
Nothing ever fastern
then why the sullen expressions?

Why isn't there exaggeration
when sorrow takes over
when your sight is a never
then bitterness is the only sensation

You'd leave me hanging
wondering what you'd reply
when would you..
then i would realize, why would you?
you hadn't all along, so why now?

you dissolve my past when you're in my present
and when you're leaving , it pains me to see the future
how are you know, i want to know so badly,
why the details, when its supposed to be brief
when its supposed to be a simple hello and a goodbye..



The Kind Of Sweet Bitterness You Talked About..Was It This?
If You're The Sun and I'm The Moon, Then I Would Just Have To Wait For An Eclipse To Come By..