These days i can't help but ponder over my life in secondary, its becoming to seemed that i've lost playmates that could stoop to a childish level together with me, and just spend the days fooling it away.. doing nothing, and just have all the fun we could ever have... it suddenly feel as though its so unreal, so quick, so out of the box, so shortlived, so unnatural, so gone...

everyone seemed to just "Poof" and gone missing.. i hadn't try frantically and berserkly to get hold of them like i would have in the past, because theres this horrid instinct that somewhat jabs me hard in the heart and said, They Aren't Here Anymore.

isn't that true, we have little or no contact eversince we moved on into poly life, its like no longer having playmates to get along childishly with you, you're different, different without them.. untrue to your wanting, you begin to waver as you watch their shadow disappear.. then remorse and despondency towers over you.. demanding an answer amidst of everything... and then you realize, your answers had already left.

Yes I do love my life now, i got a great schooling experience, met great new friends... I get so busy, though i do not know what i'm busy about as i have nothing to be that busy about, yet this helps since, i could have as much breather as i need.. and at the same time, i could numb myself, blocking out worries that i had, i feel light.. i feel touches of happiness. I feel i do not have to fake anything in the future, i'm free from tormentation of depression..

But My Dear Friends.. I wouldn't dare forget you even when i have my wings to fly.. you're ever that important to me, so don't just leave me to my abandoncy.. we're still friends, right??