Posted to NgeeAnn Poly for Early Childhood Education. Disappointed,Relieved,Confused... Could have at least entered the one with double major. And i didn't get into TP.

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Watched Love Matters with my Bro and my Mum, it was lousy...i don't even want to describe it its mostly about sex sex sex..nothing much, it was super awkward with my family, we didn't spoke of it once after the show..

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CNY was alright i guess, but i could obviously see the economy recession through those red little packets.. but the atmosphere was good for a change, its always the atmosphere thats important..

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I just want to be the shoulder that you dampened your tears with
I just want to be the hand that wiped your tears away
I just want to be the face that probes you to smile
I just want to be the voice that tickles your laughter
I just want to be the body that you lean upon
I just want to be the name you get excited after hearing
I just want to be the memory that brings you sweetness
I just want to be the arms that keeps you safe and sound
I just want to be the life that you would want to live with
I just want to be the guy that brings you happiness
why is it so hard??
Why does it feel like you're so near in sight yet i could never lay a finger on you?
Why does it feel like with each passing day, you drift further and further?
Why does it feel like I didn't even try?
Why does it feel like theres not a single opportunity?
Why does it feel like you're just an image so distant away?

I know its not going to turn out into anything, i could only watch you leave and leave again,
with those words i feel stuck in my throat, because i know it would only make things worst,
its every chance i jumped at but its always nothing i caught, only lies of my ownself,
i might have ended it but i know i wouldn't and still couldn't,
so many times i've waited for something to come my way, so many times has it failed,
I watched each and passing seconds but it never reached you,
I've been scorned, been laughed at, been deemed stupid, all I did was to smile it away or laugh it off,
because I know, there wasn't a possibility for me to let go, up till present I still have my lock tight,
threw away the key though it won't change either ways. I'm willing to carry on,
but what I have to do to deserve a chance, I'm different from the past,
i'm no longer the naive kid who doesn't think who doesn't control and does things mindlessly.
I can't see me leaving anytime soon, yet I can't see any fruits of labour they always spoke about.
I honestly can't give another a chance, it'll tug against me
it might go away but i'll never want to step inside that depths of hell once more.
All i can do is to fight against the torrents to get no where i'll always be as far for some reason,

its just retribution, karma..

Well these are some pictures from the cycling to East Coast 2 days back

Well this are my choices for the JAE, as requested by a mysterious passerby.

1 - PSYCHOLOGY STUDIES (TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC)

2 - CHILD PSYCHOLOGY & EARLY EDUCATION (NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)

3 - HOSPITALITY & TOURISM MANAGEMENT (TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC)

4 - CULINARY & CATERING MANAGEMENT (TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC)

5 - EARLY CHILDHOOD EDUCATION (NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)

6 - LEISURE & RESORT MANAGEMENT (TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC)

7 - APPLIED DRAMA AND PSYCHOLOGY (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)

8 - CREATIVE WRITING FOR TELEVISION AND NEW MEDIA (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)

9 - COMMUNICATIONS & MEDIA MANAGEMENT (TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC)

10 - MEDIA AND COMMUNICATION (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)

11 - BUSINESS/LOGISTICS & OPERATIONS MGT/MARKETING (TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC)

12 - LOGISTICS MANAGEMENT (NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)

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These pictures were taken 2 days approx. back,
we cycled all the way to ponggol end and back,
the scene was beautiful there..
waters akin to a black mirror contrasting with the fine white sand
with the sky as a backdrop
the cities as the lighting..








Photos aren't able to capture the essence of what we see
But only able to retain and remind those that have been there

Indefinite Attraction


It started with you
this unstoppable reaction
this easy kind of feel
of indefinite attraction

Never I had thought
someday against me I would have fought
to keep the insanity away
and for you to be at bay

Came down to the point
where you became my core
the only reason i seemed to live for
and the reason my life is joint

Keeping control is excruciating
as I slowly watched you live
from a distance i couldn't close
too afraid of your leaving

Took my chances upon
believing in its effect
for some day you'll be fond
of the venom of I you'll infect

As unnecessary I always was
overdid things i always has
for stopping was always hard
like pieceing back the broken shard

For now i wouldn't falter
for i'll remember to hold myself
I would pull myself back
so please do not retreat

through the mist of rain
i promise you the stars
i'll lurk behind the shadows
till the sun shows up...

It started with you
this unstoppable reaction
this easy kind of feel
of indefinite attraction.

Didn't have the energy to post for the 4 days.. Me and my friends got addicted to night cycling, thus going out almost everynight for 5 nighths now, We just rode to Beach Road and rode back..

But the most memorable night cycle was that day when me,Izzu,Ant,YanHua,ShengYao rented bikes at night at pasiris then we rode up and down, far and high, near and low, we later stopped at one of the huge play ground there and played some stuff, made us all dizzy and stuff before moving off..

Stupid jokes and actions always cracked us up during the duration of 2 hours.. The dramatic action of me flying off the bike and rolling on the floor after speeding across a road which has a bump and a crack in it, was also something for us to get hysterical about...That night was really Great Fun..

Heres some of the playground pics

The Swing We Flew So High On

The Wheel That Never Stopped Spinning

The FreeStyle Flying Disc

The 5 "Mean Machines"

So the big thing for this part of my life has passed... it was still disappointing, disapprovement from my part, hadn't got really great results but i guessed i cleared my own expectations..

had 15 for L1B4 and 20 for L1B5

A2-English
B3-Lit
B3-Humans
B3-DnT
B4-Chinese
C5-Science
C6-Math

was expecting an A1 in english lit and humans, but obviously something screwed up badly... sighhs, just hope that i'll get something i'll like though i'm still pretty undecided...

well count my blessings =)

Had CAROL's be-earlied birthday party for today, went there supposingly to cook fried rice but her grampa stole the job away from me so, i blowed up over 20balloons at 1 shot..BOOOM..

The food was great i suppose, a free buffet??

Then Started to play alittle mahjong, more teaching rather... and the rest of the evening was nothing much but just standing up and staring up a wavering tree and the depressive looking sky.. waited for the cake to get blown by Carol....BOOOM..

before heading back home, but sort of bumped into Eileen and did pretty much walking around here and there before truly heading back home...


On another random note..


Eversince Friday, everyone i meet reminds me of the nerve wrecking up coming o'level!!

sighs, just 13hours 12min more...PRAYS( cross fingers )

I'm always too lazy to blog day after day, and furthermore, i don't get anything interesting to post about..just monotoniously moving on...

hanging out quite often these days with Ant,Izzu,SY,YH...goofing around everywhere, all over singapore, in search of cheap hangout places, for some reason, we went bankrupt not too far back...

just trying to live day by day somehow entertainingly..


rentlessly blowing accumulates the weariness and the disappointment of not reaching through... theres just this invisible strong standing wall in the way

Humans Are So Tragical..For Your Own Happiness, There'll Be Sadness For Other...Even If You Wallow In Regret, You Can't Rewind Time..

time really flashes my, its already the 4th day going to be the 5th day of the new year...these days have been going out biking with my cousin and my brother(they just bought new bikes each and loaned a bike), i'm really new at this, just learned it not too long ago thus still clumsy on the road and still unable to comprehend steep steep upslopes, now the body is aching up.. but hopefully practice does make it better.. since practice don't make perfect since no one is perfect rights?


Well the feeling of going to work still HORRIBLE but its ok as soon as i settle in, maybe because of the busyness of the business that kind of numbs everything else.. i know its fast after 1 week but i'm already thinking of quitting of course after some personal urges... well i can't see myself 1 week down the road but up till then, going to give it my best i hope


Results are coming in about a week or so, its nerve wrecking and unwanted...it just keeps hanging on my insanity, considering what harm can it do to me.. i mean why does my life have to be deciding by one piece of stupid certificate??? Even though we might not know how to study but we sure can do so many things, even though we fail exams, we are still very capable enough for other things like jobs.. so why is this paper expensive??


And Lastly my New Year Resolutions...

- undecided...we'll see in a few days =)