Posted to NgeeAnn Poly for Early Childhood Education. Disappointed,Relieved,Confused... Could have at least entered the one with double major. And i didn't get into TP.

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Watched Love Matters with my Bro and my Mum, it was lousy...i don't even want to describe it its mostly about sex sex sex..nothing much, it was super awkward with my family, we didn't spoke of it once after the show..

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CNY was alright i guess, but i could obviously see the economy recession through those red little packets.. but the atmosphere was good for a change, its always the atmosphere thats important..

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I just want to be the shoulder that you dampened your tears with
I just want to be the hand that wiped your tears away
I just want to be the face that probes you to smile
I just want to be the voice that tickles your laughter
I just want to be the body that you lean upon
I just want to be the name you get excited after hearing
I just want to be the memory that brings you sweetness
I just want to be the arms that keeps you safe and sound
I just want to be the life that you would want to live with
I just want to be the guy that brings you happiness
why is it so hard??
Why does it feel like you're so near in sight yet i could never lay a finger on you?
Why does it feel like with each passing day, you drift further and further?
Why does it feel like I didn't even try?
Why does it feel like theres not a single opportunity?
Why does it feel like you're just an image so distant away?

I know its not going to turn out into anything, i could only watch you leave and leave again,
with those words i feel stuck in my throat, because i know it would only make things worst,
its every chance i jumped at but its always nothing i caught, only lies of my ownself,
i might have ended it but i know i wouldn't and still couldn't,
so many times i've waited for something to come my way, so many times has it failed,
I watched each and passing seconds but it never reached you,
I've been scorned, been laughed at, been deemed stupid, all I did was to smile it away or laugh it off,
because I know, there wasn't a possibility for me to let go, up till present I still have my lock tight,
threw away the key though it won't change either ways. I'm willing to carry on,
but what I have to do to deserve a chance, I'm different from the past,
i'm no longer the naive kid who doesn't think who doesn't control and does things mindlessly.
I can't see me leaving anytime soon, yet I can't see any fruits of labour they always spoke about.
I honestly can't give another a chance, it'll tug against me
it might go away but i'll never want to step inside that depths of hell once more.
All i can do is to fight against the torrents to get no where i'll always be as far for some reason,

its just retribution, karma..