The Tarot Cards Told Me

it said that i'm haunted by my past, the tendency of me moving on is to my choice, but i'm regularly clinged on by the past thus a postive outcome and outlook is needed for me, but the outcome is that i'll be withdrawn from the world..

It made me wonder would anyone still be there or it'll be a recurling dream from secondary 3..

There no need to see it in any other way
other than the way it has always been seen

And i couldn't tell what happened as you drift away, or was i just virtually incapable?

I don't know how do i make it go away, I don't know how to make it come either


you can't get rid of it
regardless how nonexistent it can be gone from your life
It hides in your shadow,
when the light shines, it appears
then the memory throbs as you see things you are reminded of it
then from then on you deny the light
bury yourself in the darkness
before you know it, you get too comfortable in the darkness
you can't leave it anymore
when you thought that its ok as shadows can't reach you
you realize its all around you the moment you got too cozy
then the energy consumed slowly till you wear down
and you finally break down

Because everyone doesn't get it..
No one understands it because they aren't you..
Don't force your opinions onto others
If you want, try and influence through your own power if you're all that great

I don't know why i lie
but i don't want you all to know
You don't need to know everything
We can't know everything,
and most certainly you shouldn't try and ask when i don't want to say..

The thing you don't need to see the most
It shall be that you see

The Sweet You

Sweetness just don't comprehend
as bitterness slowly off i fend
with you and each single step i send
the love of yours i tried to transcend

Speechless as i gave a listen
with your smiles so true and faked
unsure if i caught your eyes glisten
as you said what you've done for other's sake

Helplessly my fist clenched up
wanting to take the blow you took
strip your misery off i shook
rid the world by your hands i cup

Tired from rupturing you slept
beside yet not on my shoulder
solemn i wrote a note, a poem
yet fate does not hold as it i lost

For as long as that would last
the forgettance always came fast
through the memories it starts to close
as the day gone, i became the ghost

I fade away as your words stop
vsion of you disintegrate
yet the heart for you carry on to throb
and memories carries on to recreate

The agony surface and resurface
as once you had the sweetness to taste
everything starts to become nothing
and theres only memberance of the sweet you

i don't know to smile or to sulk when i'm with you
i'll smile because i'm with you
but the sulk is for that i know you'll leave later

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I want to write a novel...
its about a girl with split personalities and they were both charmed by the same guy. Thus they fight each other for him.

I want to write a poem short story
its when theres a poem and a short story based on the poem

Art workz~

Did a set of teeth during attachment with the kids... looks ugly just like mine...


Students + crayons = anything is possible
This is Pam's Emofied drawing, its a greek girl wearing a floating crown, unallowing light to reach her as she stand by a tall tree and it seemed that she just lost a kite too... Then the storm approaches.... Nahs i don't know what is this picture about ask her...

And this is shar's rainbow garden crayon, it looks like a house with a screwed up chimney, XD

And this is my bobble head Poom Blue Special K which people calls it squidward from spongebob, Yes the head really does bobble when u shake it

This is the all adorable Super Blue, it flies wherever your hand goes and he has arms outstretched to save the world

Needless to say, this is the most epic pokeball, i gotta catch em all..

Then the most epic storyboard...

Please read it, you'll be overwhelmed by the awesomeness...

I'm sick and crushed

confused and tortured

At least let me be somebody

I got my doubts too

I'm not a hero

just another guy trying to be

Everytime i look
Theres a new disencouragement
I think i'm just a redundancy
Just a passerby
Which you wouldn't even look up for

Purgatory

That thin line that seperates me.. Half of this to you and half of that to you... Wouldn't be too long till i lost those tinges of red as i get tangled up further than i should..Its now my life.

Everyone only wants to be the only hero

You're suddenly nice

and i can't comprehend

You're suddenly gone

and i can't cope

You suddenly appear

and i go breathless

You suddenly enter

and i go fluttering

What Is This

Days scrapped by days and days, but the night was the most sufferable, for it'll be the moment i'll try and make contact, keeping out of the thin line of stepping into the annoyance zone yet also out of the losing touch area. Clutching my shirt, i stripped myself of my own reluctancy, pressing the send key after repeatedly rewritten messages, then the sense of regret flushed over instantly before i close the senses, decieving myself, taking self inflicted damage to convince myself that i hadn't send it. Shut my eyes tight and till you give a response, or not..Both sinking the heart, just in different ways, one in indulgence of the mere moment and the other in despondency.

Usually i lie awake, and ask myself What Is This? What Are You Trying To Do?? Though the conscience badgers on, i slowly figured out there wasn't another alternative out, life might always have choices but none that i would take.. I can't help it if i fell in love and i can't save myself from loving

another

What good is knowing the answer of impossibility if you can't question your possibilities? I can't take a step foward, not a stride backwards, neither to stay around.. I wished,longed,hoped,prayed,dreamt,craved,desired,

wanted,needed,yearned,aspired,requested,pleased..

Since i failed to get a chance, i thought at least an acknowledgement, no? then perhaps an explanation, none? But all I gave me was more issues to due with, stacking and removing like a toy..

The struggle at night tides over with a silence and a promise to clear with a sleep, then i awaken with the hopes of a new day, perhaps a day of finally changing..But usually it drags across.. with

that every little thing i do to help me survive in my own way

Then the night re-begin and the whole plot continues to re-entangle...

Yous aren't bad for me, just that i made it miserable, i know its my fault,stacked on by mistakes after mistakes. Actually, yours appearences are my only salvation so far....

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if i'm going to start a company,

1)Working Replicas - creating actual things that works from shows(animes/cartoon/movies) and sell it.

2)A fashion botique - a fully image place where hairdressers,fashion advicer, clothings, accessories, make up artists all exists in one place to create an image to suit a person.

3)A Photography Missionary - Given words/themes/sentences/quotes before setting off to take awesome photos of relations.

4)The Party Place - Costumes, accessories, food, beverages are all in place, creating with a space, any fully given theme party area and ideas.The more unique and awkward the better..

5)Unusual Restaurant - providing funniest waiters, jokes, dishes, games, performances, videos, sudden happenings. a place where everything is infused with humor..

Warm Your Heart

So he said he took 3 years to warm your heart...

Then I'll take forever to keep your heart warm...

Don't want to care just simply meant that i'm confused..so it seems

Let go to move foward and risk the restart button.

Stay back and stay put and risk the nothing future.

Its like i'm on a self rupturing schedule

Torn halfway on each half..

Happy Birthday Carol~

you're old now...well you're always with me since 2 years back, perhaps you've been with me all the time that it feels just like a long time ago...Well i can't really think of what else to say that wouldn't really reoccur with the note and the post as well as the cake... Happy birdday~

Snooze

You open your eyes while the bright blinding light scorch your eyes and you desperately search for the alarm thats beeping away, you then press the cancel/snooze button telling yourself just another 5minutes before you topple back down your bed, sinking into the mattress that has enveloped your warmth overnight, you shut your half-closed eyes to gain the darkness with the tinges of red maroon effect from the light that you no longer bother to see, longing to stay asleep and thus giving in to insomiac devil that battered up the angel that pestered you to stay awake. And into the slumber you fall after cuddling yourself, longing to remember the dream you've had or to start a new dream of unreality to forget of the tiresome day you lay ahead, knowing that no matter how nice it might be, it just lasts for couple of hours before you do the same notion of falling back to this unreal world at the unearthly hour.

This goes on and you start to dread of being awake, having forced to have things thrown at you and shove it up your face everyday regardless of what you are doing, if not you have your leftover bullshit to deal with from the past that you thought you could erase by just walking away, you swipe it across your conscious and then try to forget about it, those non-chalant ideals that you don't need in actual fact, haunted by the thoughts of your own which you proceed to smoother them out by shoving a pillow upon your enstrangled face, reminding yourself it wasn't meant to be, cautiously lie that you have done your best when you know you had more to offer but you were hesitant, deep inside you were selfish and unwilling to cast yourself away as a bait to save that poor fish being ravaged by the delusional gigantic apprehendable problem.You realize every single second you stay awake, a single second more you have to face the world, you have to get the interrogation lights shined upon your face, you have to make nice with everyone, you have to become the hero that you always wanted and also the villian that acts upon your own egoism. You realize the truth, the meaning of being awake, then you squeezed your eyes and try to get that 5 more minutes of sleep which eventually you take for granted as you try and see how much more time can you escape and get away with it, and the more cake you could gather, the more chances of eating the cake there would be.Then you snoozed away..

Sometimes you're hot and you're cold..
and it seems that i don't have enough fuel to keep you coming