What Is This

Days scrapped by days and days, but the night was the most sufferable, for it'll be the moment i'll try and make contact, keeping out of the thin line of stepping into the annoyance zone yet also out of the losing touch area. Clutching my shirt, i stripped myself of my own reluctancy, pressing the send key after repeatedly rewritten messages, then the sense of regret flushed over instantly before i close the senses, decieving myself, taking self inflicted damage to convince myself that i hadn't send it. Shut my eyes tight and till you give a response, or not..Both sinking the heart, just in different ways, one in indulgence of the mere moment and the other in despondency.

Usually i lie awake, and ask myself What Is This? What Are You Trying To Do?? Though the conscience badgers on, i slowly figured out there wasn't another alternative out, life might always have choices but none that i would take.. I can't help it if i fell in love and i can't save myself from loving

another

What good is knowing the answer of impossibility if you can't question your possibilities? I can't take a step foward, not a stride backwards, neither to stay around.. I wished,longed,hoped,prayed,dreamt,craved,desired,

wanted,needed,yearned,aspired,requested,pleased..

Since i failed to get a chance, i thought at least an acknowledgement, no? then perhaps an explanation, none? But all I gave me was more issues to due with, stacking and removing like a toy..

The struggle at night tides over with a silence and a promise to clear with a sleep, then i awaken with the hopes of a new day, perhaps a day of finally changing..But usually it drags across.. with

that every little thing i do to help me survive in my own way

Then the night re-begin and the whole plot continues to re-entangle...

Yous aren't bad for me, just that i made it miserable, i know its my fault,stacked on by mistakes after mistakes. Actually, yours appearences are my only salvation so far....

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if i'm going to start a company,

1)Working Replicas - creating actual things that works from shows(animes/cartoon/movies) and sell it.

2)A fashion botique - a fully image place where hairdressers,fashion advicer, clothings, accessories, make up artists all exists in one place to create an image to suit a person.

3)A Photography Missionary - Given words/themes/sentences/quotes before setting off to take awesome photos of relations.

4)The Party Place - Costumes, accessories, food, beverages are all in place, creating with a space, any fully given theme party area and ideas.The more unique and awkward the better..

5)Unusual Restaurant - providing funniest waiters, jokes, dishes, games, performances, videos, sudden happenings. a place where everything is infused with humor..