Avalanche

Its so strong I don't remember how it came to this point, it isn't how it was suppose to be or was it? I never thought nor wanted it to snowball into this stage.. I've repeated all these words as i've heard them, i should stop, let it go, just forget it... But all it did was to avalanche, the feeling and that torment just grew.. I don't want pity, needed none of those.. I know i repeat all these all the time but none of it was ever sufficient.. I want to talk about it, I want to be asked about it, but i can never say it out, never get it through, theres nothing anyone could do... I loved her, and I broke..I saw her smile and i smiled then i got jealous.. I saw her frown, I frowned then i felt like we were the same..

Even if we were the same, we couldn't share, we couldn't start....

I really hate to be this miserable and pathetic but whenever i think of you, everything else seems to degrade into nothing..

My parents told me if i sleep earlier she have a gift that she thinks i really would like for me.. but.. I really can't.. I so much dread to even wakeup, at least in the night, no one sees me like this... I'm sorry.. i really am..

That day as i ate cherries one after the other, i realized how if was just like everything else..

So sweet, so satisfying as you sink your teeth through the juicy body but as you slowly devour it,you reached the seed

The seed bitter, poisonous to a certain extend.. Mostly unedible nor digestable.. like how things that were great ends with the memory that never even if you try, leave traces behind.. Damn it.

Was it really wrong to ever liked you? I said i would never doubt it but.. What the hell am i now?