Un-Over
It was all suppose to wear off today..

It was about 4 days ago when I honestly started studying, I was in a panic mood, fervourish studying for 3 days straight.. The overall reason was to try savaging any possiblility of my grades..

I got so hungry at night because i was over crazed with cramming, I became agitated and resented everything that didn't go well, i slept with that resentment and woke up unmaturedly with the aches and dizzied mind..

I got so tired all these while that I got sick of everything, i was tensed in everywhere, the chest was insufferable, it was just intoxicating to breathe, it ached everywhere, it took everything..

My studying mood is terrifying to myself even i suppose, with my studious front, i could refuse to utter a single word, close everything down with a staged smile, avoid everyone that was from the same course, drown myself in notes and music, It was empty..

But today is the last day of exams.. So it should all be over, that tiredness, that suffocation in the chest.. Yet it didn't..

I guess every word is a show and every action is for the drama..

"I lay awake again, my body's feeling paralyzed, I can't remember when I didn't live through this disguise, the words that you said to me couldn't set me me free, so i'm stuck here in a life i didn't ask for.. There must be something more.."

"Making all kinds of silence, it takes alot to realize, its worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie.. As long as i can feel you holding on, I won't fall, even if you said i was wrong.."
"I'm not perfect, but i keep trying, because thats what i said i would do from the start.. I'm not alive if i'm lonely, so please don't leave, was it something that i said or just my personality.."

i know i can't breathe because of you..your feelings still lay the impact of me after so long, everything i think you felt, the fustrations doubled...I need my distraction, I need a distraction.. A distraction to stop me from you..