i've been seriously busy
extremely exhuasted
really faigue-cal
the assignments just came rushing out of no where, each stacked on each other, just collected themselves and burried me underneathe with a tilt of hope glistning every now and then.

i've been really tired
survived on about 4hours per day for the past week, i go to school everyday with a zombie like self,dragging the feet with eyes wanting to close so badly yet they couldn't lullaby me to sleep... i hadn't been doing leisure things for a long time now, i'm finding everything i used to have is breaking out, just drifting away..

People has been pushing up their ideal thoughts and views upon me, mainly family, you might think i'm not being sociable, yes i don't deny it but sometimes do you look and ask in an alternative way than you always do? you demand and you request then you push your opinions on me, why hadn't you see yet.. so far i have a reason for everything, you asked me not to promise what i couldn't acheieve but when i don't want to promise, you blame that i don't have the sincerity... the reason why i stay up?? beside the atmosphere of inner peace to really remember myself and not get sucked into your world of opinions, the only way to keep myself, face it already i have my own reason that i don't speak of...
and i don't speak of its because i don't want to, how would you know if i don't speak? sometimes you don't have to, sometimes its just enough to understand i have my reason..

i sometimes like to close my eyes and imagine the calm scenery of a green short grass wavering admist the cool winds, along with the rustling of the lone tree standing tall at the side of this field all covered by a peaceful stretch of baby blue sky with cluttering of white clouds and then i shall walk towards the tree and lie in its shade, just close my eyes again and imagine that nothing was real anymore, i don't have to open my eyes again..

If you hadn't realize yet
than maybe i'm just too different for you