Irradical
It was pathetic, irradical, pitiful, irrational of how always brief encounters seems to have an impact far greater that what it seemingly seems to be capable of containing.
Maplestory has been my latest form of distraction from things i tend to repress back to the depths of my mind regardless of its success, yes perhaps its childish for most on lookers but you would be suprised at the effect of the process.. It worked so well that i would fill my mind just with things related to it.. I could repress things, force them back into that little box that i like to put away at times..
But with that brief encounter, that smile with a wave, everything just broke free and slammed back right into my face, the three weeks i spent night and day trying and succeeding, all succumbed in just that few seconds..
Honestly i don't know the real reason for all those negativity and the urge to just avoid you.. I don't understand it and theories that i have seems to all have their loopholes.. Yes i still like her a whole lot but then why do i run.. Yes it has been so long it could be awkward but shouldn't i be trying still.. Yes we're both with friends but a few second to say hi and just ask how we're doing won't take that long.. Yes it demolished my plans yet it could be savaged if i had pretty damn well stood there and waited..

And once again it don't make any sense, its erradically laughable..
and yes i just posted on your wall, now i feel so much lamer than i felt before.. i'm really a piece of work. I'm sorry even though i don't know what i'm sorry for.. I'm just so sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry i'm just so sorry..

If i wanted to love you, if i wanted a chance, if i needed you then why do i run.. if i wanted to run, if i wanted to get away, if i needed to forget then why do i regret?
I really need to know what to do.. I really want to know what to do.. but who would.. who could.. who should but you