Had a "class" gathering chalet, with as much reluctancy to turn up, eventually i did regardlessly despite my foretold awkwardness and weirdness due to being in a chalet with people that i never really even spoken to.. But appparently it didn't turn out that bad, it was okay i guess..Yesterday as a few couples turn up, i begun to spite, the closer they get together, the more time i see them together, the more talk they exchange, the more i wanted to shut my eyes and leave for the cynical pretended happy land.. As time went by, a swell like feeling sprouted and grew through my chest cutting off my air, my tongue twitched with sourness despite how much honey i added to the food.. During the ungodly hours we blasted music in the room and sang crookedly along, the more song i hear, the more i remember what was washed away by the relaxed surface of the environment, the more i want to be left alone.. I stayed in the room by myself, just repeating the question of my inadequancy and wondering how would my final plan take its place.. I left once for almost a good hour, i sat by the pool side, picturing everything i could be with you around, then i took a walk around the park with everything that could go wrong.. I was plugged in with music but what its thoughts that drowned me instead of the music.. I somehow now wonder if i'm just in need of a relationship or just you... It just ain't easy being alone while watching others get together.. Its confusing to see how others break up with sorrow, i just can't comprehend it.. I still believe 2 is better than 1..
It just doesn't make sense
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