Felicity
Deep inside, i do think that i deserve some lasting felicity, happiness, bliss. But that wasn't the case, for whatever was waiting ahead in the past never got better, it just alternated between worse and the worst. I try to please whenever i could afford to, try to convince that i'm an easy going person instead of my factual pickiness. No i'm not a selfless hero, i'm just someone that wishes for your recognition, appreciation.. But its like i don't matter.. So i don't think its too hard to believe, negativity is the base of my emotions.

When its alone, things come to my mind and i know that i won't have to stage that smile thats been stuck for pretty long..Its not always fake but till i think of how you aren't here.. I have my questions on who could give geniune smiles when they are alone, and are positivity really possibly be a base..

I want to be with you, so at least i won't have to think anymore, i won't have to fail anymore, i won't have to be jealous and bitter anymore, i won't have to feel how i would never get reciprocated, i won't have to frown and stop tears whenever i think..Then at least i could be happy, be felicity.

I'm not made out of sugar, i'm not sweet, i'm not pleasant, i'm not good at comforting..
I'm more of a rotten lemon, bitter, sour, envy, jealous, depressive.
Why don't you try me? i believe i like you enough for you to.. i believe that you could too..