Minor Changes.. Major Makeover??

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These pictures might seem vain to you even though it wasn't taken by me =S

Alrights, back to the point.. These are the photos of before and after hair after dyeing it, credits to miss Sibani..

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Call me paranoid, call me complicated, call me sensitive..

people tells me that i'm dateable/charming only after the makeover,

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doesn't that just mean that in me, resides a rotten personality with an absolute zero physical charm/attraction without the dyed hair, just a guy with no special or unique features to gain any single points from girls/ladies "grading list.."

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Perhaps i've thought too much of myself, maybe i hadn't had the "inner handsome" i once thought i possessed, i'm literally looking up to myself too much..

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i'm not too suprise actually, i'm just bewildered on how this little situation went this way, i'm not suppose to be better off after this, because after the apple reaches its core.. No, it wouldn't even reach the core before i got discarded and chucked off, don't lie to me, you wouldn't take a second look back and wonder if you should finished it first. But its okay, because i won't be in self denial, i'll understand which each and every toss, that i'm nowhere near of somewhere, just how i'm nothing close to something..

I did say that looks does matter afterall, didn't i?

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Its not going to change anything afterall.. So maybe theres really no point, especially when i see no chances. So were you lying?

You won't look at me after all that i do or all that i hadn't do.. right?

It was bowling yesterday and its mahjong once again today... firstly at cousin's house for "extended" CNY and now witnessing mahjong at Joel's house with him,trev,richard,joey...

Things that you hadn't done for such a long time has been entertaining like how we always allow the child to pop out everytime something from our past appears, i think afterall, CNY's best offer offered to me is the adult's screaming laughter while they play little gambles, while we the younger generation starts acting like adults..Ironic role reversal...

Applied 2 temp jobs..
1. Epicenter's flyer distribution at IT show
2. Charles & Keith packer/sales at warehouse sale..

get the last batch of cash this holis to supply for the europe trip...

Today i thought i saw you, i thought i've let you go, i believed so, i wanted so, i wished so, but then why do my chest felt the thumps and all the little observant eyes started to sense "your" movement, yet so afraid to confirm, so afraid to approach you, so afraid to text you.. Now i'm covered in cowardice and worries..Why did she have to look like you, why does my heart suddenly feel so guilty..Isn't it just a habit that i've grown so accustomed to, yet the toll came and now i'm always asking for more, seeking for something you would do for me in exchange..But then again, who was i kidding... I'm really unsure if i've forgotten you, i'm unsure if i've let you go, i'm bewildered if i've fallen for another, but i'm pretty affirmative that its really something i can't define but then i'm really not in the mood to think anymore..No decisions that i wanna make.. Closed eyes, pinched arm, teeth marked knuckles..

Nothing but an indecisive, inconsiderate, in deceptive jerk

Sometimes its really hard, and you'll never know


Today had Picnic at Botanic Gardens with classmates ( Pam, Heather, Shar, Rafidah, Hamidah, Rachael, Rachel, Hidayah, Jingyi, Iris, Ivy, Alicia )

Mostly Frisbee kept me bubbling and bobbing around, i think i sucked at it but i don't really care..

(pictures when being sent will be uploaded)

Happy birthday to Rachael =D

I really don't know if i do like you, or are you just an excuse i came up with to forget...I'm a jerk..

Today reminded me of that one time,
that morning i woke up at 4:30am, started to cut the side of the bread that you hated and refused to eat, carefully slicing it into 4 equal slices to the best of my ability, spreading different spreads of butter and sugar, cheese, tuna spread and wine jelly onto each slice, cautiously symmetrically turning it into a tiny little sandwich filled with goodies in between, throwing it into the oven to toast it slightly so it wouldn't be too crispy to turn hard over time and not too soft so it'll be soggy afterwards, after the loud ring, i carefully place it into a tupperware, finishing it with the lid of the air tight container so you'll feel the burning heart of mine. Got dressed and ran out steathily in order not to get caught by my parents which will lead to questionings, then jumping over fences to arrive early to turn my head and look at you decending from the stairs hurriedly in your school uniform... I arrived early, but you didn't came at all, i deceived myself that you were late and waited till it was 8am, before i hung my head down, depressed by the fact that you didn't turn up for a date that i didn't date.. Those sandwich tasted terribly bitter after i failed to throw them away.. I'm still insecured if i could throw my heart for you, or it'll end up bitterly like those sandwiches?



I can't promise you that I won't disappear
Like how you can't promise me..
But i wouldn't try to disappear
If you would try to make me appear

TeeOTwo
The Class Photo Compilation (New To Old)

Professional Development (PD)

Language Arts In The Early Childhood Years (LAECY)

Field Practicum (FP)

Creative Arts For Young Children (CAYC)

Written Communication (WritComm)

Speech Training Basic (STB)

Its already a year...

Much has changed and many hasn't...

I believe that i've faded off at least

I'm not as much there as I used to...

I really hoped that you were here, at least I could get closer

My teachers are hilarious...

Professional Development quiz question 4: What is group dynamics?

choice B) A group of people that uses dynamites for destructive purpose.


Child Development test question 6: ____ is verbal or physical behaviour intended to disturb someone less powerful.

choice A) Martial Arts Trainning

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So today is the last day of Year 1 in my poly... Honestly i feel some siansations from the upcoming boredomness, i just vision myself losing my social life for some reason as i face the confrontation of emptiness...

Went out with Shareena,Pamela,Iris,Alicia,Amanda to orchard, "313" mainly to settle down for a pretty good dinner at [F.I.S.H] by fish and co.
Before i get femalelized around the shops...

And now i'm home with no where to go..

Worst of all, i'm now almost certain that i couldn't see you anymore in the next 2 months.
no, she isn't my girlfriend, by asking, you're not making it better..
I'm just being indirectly rejected time and time. when everyone suspects that she is mine..

I asked if the Charm Crystal had taken its effect,
You told me after I dyed my hair..
Did you just blurted it out as you saw the change,
Or was I suppose to take your breath away that moment?



Love so bubblish, bobbing up and down
always lost despite being found
gone in a second and appear in two
blank stares with confusions it fool

Make it so surreal and so it faked
never knowing, only seeing
cropped off and that love forsake
changing after changed but never being

Moving to always stop
closed eyes to try take a breather
but always nothing makes it better
everytime it happens, my heart throbs

So much for the reason
as everytime it falsely forgiven
always charged with your heart's treason
before the tears starts to season.

Your words, My heaven. Your smiles, My god
I don't want time to move except for you and me...

The Fun With My New Beanie ~

The after beanie look

Brother's beanie look

Miss stick out tongue's look

Sulky Pam look

The nerdy look after removing beanie

Hearty The Raindeer Look =D

The cancer Shareena look

A million times that i try, the million times you reject...

you don't even try with me anymore..