Ruins
It wasn't about how magnificient it was nor how commendable it appears to be. In the end its about how much it took a place in you.
As each part of you slowly becomes ancient and fallen, the remainder collects up and formed a ruin in you, it isn't brilliant or as complete since you might never have found the chance to, but it stays there forever as a figment of your past that clings onto you even if it had been over and ended. An eternal reminder of its existence.
The question is how long does it take, everyone has different adjusting time which they take, mine usually took a day, regardless of the matter, i always took a day off to sulk and just be sullen throughout without trying to look fine and i'll be new the next day as i come to terms with how i had to go on living.
But the process of volunteering your construction to transform it into ruins seems to be so much more demanding. Its been a week since the incident, and its not yet gone.. Perhaps i need to make that decision soon, but what do i do when everything gives me that slight crack of hope but i know how it's promise always fail to pass.. Hoodwinked..
I can't breathe.. I have to occassionally take two really deep breathe, i've got better since then but everything just reduced to crumbs when you pops out.. I know i said i would keep trying regardless.. But i'm 18 and i'll be lying if i said i'm okay with never having experiencing a few relationship.. You know i can't always be your backup when theres no one.. Besides you got so much more people now, so i guess you forgot about your backup too.. But it all ends with how i still want to give it a shot, how i need you to tell me no in my face.